Monthly Archives: September 2011

Last night, coming home after work, I noticed a car in my front yard as I pulled into my driveway. Of course I had no clue who it was. It definitely wasn’t my ex, he knows better/doesn’t care enough to come around me. I wondered if maybe it was someone coming to buy furniture? No, I didn’t think I’d given my address out to anyone yet…. So out of the car pops the girl that I’m going to be renting my house to. She and her husband came to the open house I held and I immediately fell in love with them. He’s a preschool teacher, she’s a caterer, and they’re all-around good, genuine people. We clicked right away at the open house and I was thrilled when I learned the landlord had picked them to replace me as the new tenants.

I guess she just came over to check out the house again and ease some of her worries. It was such a pleasant surprise for me to have someone to hang out with – I was planning on chilling by myself like every other night of my life (aside from the ones in which I went on disastrous, fruitless dates). We hung out for quite awhile and talked about a million things. We have a lot in common, but are also totally different. I am a very practical, concrete thinker. My reality and perception are based on what’s in front of me, what I know, what’s real. She, on the other hand, has her head a little more in the clouds. She’s a visual and creative thinker. I love that! I love getting insight into the way other people think. She and I really hit it off.

She told me how if she were getting married again, I’d be one of her bridesmaids, how amazing I am, and all these wonderful things. I know it to be true and have heard it all before, but I’ve grown accustomed to having the rug pulled out from under me and getting my heart broken. I fear that this girl will do the same thing to me, but if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that you cannot allow fear to rule your life and decisions. So I’m jumping in with two feet.

I came into work today and opened my email. I’d forgotten that I was still subscribed to my ex’s youtube channel. He posted a video today entitled “I’m doin fine”. I hit unsubscribe. I don’t want to know what he’s doing, whether good or bad. I’m so angry with him. He’s doing fine living off someone else. Hey, at least it’s not me anymore. He’s doing the same old shit. My world is just opening up.

Thank god an email from that girl was also waiting for me or I might have really gotten down in the dumps over him “doin fine”. In her email she wrote how great it was to meet me, how she wants to introduce me to all these guys/friends, how amazing I am, etc. it was a very nice surprise and just what I needed. I responded. I hope we end up being good friends, I have a feeling that we will, but you never know.

Today’s a good day though and I have lots of work to do and lots to look forward to!


So today during my lunch break at work, I logged onto the dating site. Up pops a chat request from Zumba boy. We start chit chatting about our days and what we’re up to, and he goes “oh by the way, my name is ____” I said yeah, I know, we’ve met! Retard! He literally thought I was someone else because I’d changed some things around on my profile. Then he went into saying how he tried texting me, yadda yadda, more bullshit. He invited me to come out with him and “10 of his friends” this Thursday. I told him I had to go, hit me up and maybe my phone would work this time and we could hang out Thursday. I highly doubt I’ll hear from him.

This experience led me to conclude that meeting a guy online is not a good idea for me. I will not find what I’m looking for online. I want someone honest and real, who lives in the REAL world, someone who knows what they’re looking for and is not afraid to go after it. I’m DONE with the online world! I deleted my profile off the site. Goodbye, internet dating! Onto real life we go…

I had the impression before I met this guy that he was a real down-home, country kind of guy. However, upon meeting him, I realized this was not the case… Though he does hunt, fish, camp, have a big truck, want an RV, etc., he gave off more of a gangster wannabe kind of vibe than a redneck vibe. He drove a motorcycle (sexy) and wore a big gold watch and ring (not sexy). We met at a great restaurant for dinner and seemed to be having wonderful conversation. We stayed away from discussing exes or anything really deep or serious, we just kept the conversation light, which was great (I’ll stick to this rule in the future). We talked about our careers, things we do for fun, and our interests. We had a lot in common. Dinner was delicious. He made really great eye contact, very intense, so much that I had to look away at times. I took this as a sign he was interested and even felt some chemistry…

At the end of the dinner, he asked what I was doing the rest of the night. Since he’d mentioned maybe going mini-golfing after dinner while we were making plans earlier, I told him I’d left the night open. He proceeded to tell me he had to go meet his friends at the bars and didn’t have time to go mini golfing. We hugged goodbye, again he told me how much he liked me and how he’d definitely hit me up again. No word from him. That was Friday now it’s Monday. We’re both very busy doing things this week, but if he was really interested, wouldn’t he have pushed back hanging out with his friends? Maybe invited me to come along? The flakiness never ceases to amaze me. Are all men liars? Seriously. Forget it. Goodbye, redneck boy!

I just have to take a minute to talk about this guy that comes in and cleans our tank at work. When I first started working at my job, I was still with my ex. Nevertheless, I had an immediate crush on this guy the moment I laid eyes on him. Being the faithful and devoted girlfriend I am, I never really talked to him much, I just kept to myself when he’d come, which is only every 2 weeks. Sometimes they send a lady instead of him and I’m always disappointed when he’s not the one that comes.

After I broke up with my ex, fish tank day rolled around and of course, just my luck, they sent the lady. I really could have used a little pick-me-up, but for whatever reason, it was meant to be. Maybe it’s better he didn’t see me so down and depressed. I’m glad he missed me on that day, actually. However, 2 weeks later, they sent him 🙂  I was thrilled to see him and made a resolution to talk to him somehow… He always would come around to my side of the fish tank and make small talk with me, but this day, I decided to lay it on thick. When he came over to talk to me, I chatted him up. I knew his little daughter’s b-day was that weekend, and that was my in… I asked him, “So, what are you guys doing for her birthday?” He said “Well it’s just me, but blah blah blah”. He made a point to tell me it was just him, meaning he’s single and ready to mingle, yay!!! I mentioned how I’d really like him to show me around, etc. etc. I could see the wheels turning in his head, but since we were both working, nothing came of it. We got interrupted, he left without getting my number, so I’ve been thinking about him nonstop since then, wondering if anything will happen down the road. I’d be one lucky girl, and he’d be damn lucky too!

I can see how genuinely kind and respectable this guy is. He’s a real person after all, not someone I met online. I like him a lot and get the feeling he likes me too. However, I’m learning that people are often full of shit and my read on how people feel towards me is not always right (actions speak louder than words). Maybe he just teases me/chit chats with me because he wants attention or wants to add a little excitement to his work day. Maybe I’m not his type. Maybe a million girls are after him already.

Whatever the case, I’m holding onto a little bit of hope for fish tank guy. As he was leaving, I said, “make sure they send you next time and not that lady!” He laughed and said ok, and fish tank day is this Friday. Let’s cross our fingers that he shows up! I’ve decided I’m not going to strike up a conversation with him though. He’ll have to come over and talk to me and initiate things. That way I’ll know for sure how he feels about me and whether or not he’s really interested. Knowing my luck though, they’ll send the lady. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Hahahaha….. Ok, brace yourself for this one. Here we go….. This guy and I started talking and hit it off right off the bat – we seemed to have a lot in common (for instance, his ex was the same age as mine, they broke up around the same time and for similar reasons that I broke up with mine, he was moving to an apartment very close to mine from the same area I was moving from, etc.). It was pretty crazy finding all the parallels at first. He owns a smoke shop, which I saw as a plus in a lot of ways (he has enough money to support himself, his schedule is flexible). He sent me a picture (just 1), and I couldn’t completely tell what I thought of him. However, the fact that our conversations were going so well and all the things we had in common made me feel compelled to meet him.

We met in the parking lot of this really cute Mexican place (hey, at least he introduced me to a good new restaurant!). When we sat down for dinner, the conversation kept reverting back to our exes. He had told me how he kicked his ex out of his house, he had been supporting her, and he was planning to move to an apartment nearby my new apartment. In fact, he told me he had had the apartment on reserve for months, and was essentially paying double rent to keep it off the market. I continually asked him if we could talk about other things besides our exes. I’d be onto a whole different subject, and he’d INTERRUPT me to say “did you just say ____?” and I’d respond “yes, but that was 5 minutes ago, now we’re onto something else….” I got the impression he was not really listening to me, he’d just grab onto certain thing I’d said and obsess over them til he finally had to interrupt me to ask me about it. It was extremely annoying and frustrating and I almost felt like we were bickering on our first date! Not to mention the fact that I did NOT find him attractive, mostly because his ears stuck out immensely (literally, glancing at him that’s the first and only thing you notice, big ass ears sticking out…. if he had a personality to make up for it that’d be one thing, but this guy really was losing points fast).

The straw that broke the camel’s back, however, came when he told me he paid for his girlfriend’s move. Not only that, he paid several months of her rent in advance. This left me wondering: if you are really over this girl, why continue to support her? Maybe she dumped him and is continuing to play him, not the other way around. That would make more sense right? Regardless, I was not interested in someone still involved with their ex, let alone SUPPORTING them financially. No thank you. Goodbye, smoke shop boy!

A few days later, I went in to sign the lease for my new FABULOUS apartment (yay!). I casually mentioned to the girl in the leasing office how I met the guy that owned the smoke shop across the street. She knew immediately who I was talking about, and told me that he’d come to tour the apartments. I said I knew he’d had an apartment on reserve for months. She told me that was not true – he never had an apartment on reserve at all! He just came and toured the place once! The apartment was vacant and available. This begs the question, what else was he lying about? Wtf is wrong with these guys?

He proceeded to keep trying to call me, and eventually I dropped the bomb and said I don’t feel a connection with him. Luckily, he left me alone after that, never heard from him again. Thank god.

This one is pretty uneventful. The guy was really nice, actually MUCH cuter in person than I could tell from his pictures. We met at a bar, had some beers, played some pool. He had been on a search and rescue team in the army and is currently going to school and working. I can’t remember what his ultimate career goal was and I can’t hardly remember what all we talked about  (shows how much of an impression he made on me) , but there was laughter and like usual, all seemed to be going quite well. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car, gave me a nice big tight hug goodbye. The next day I got a text from him commenting on how hot it was outside, and I wrote back something about how I was enjoying the weather. Never heard another word from him. Again, confused. Goodbye, army boy!

Date number 3 took place a bar I’d never been to before, with a guy who looked phenomenally hot in his pictures. Understandably, I was pretty nervous as I made my way in to meet him. However, once I laid eyes on him in person, I realized he was not all the pictures made him out to be. He was shorter than expected, less cute than expected, and wearing rocker-esque all black and converse (i.e. he did not put ANY effort into dressing up for me, which I decided to let go and embrace as his “style”). He had already started drinking by the time I arrived. I followed suit and ordered a drink right when I got there, and we dove into conversation about our lives, work, exes, etc. (I’ve since learned to avoid talking about exes on first dates).

As the night progressed, we got more and more tipsy. His loud, obnoxious laugh was annoying to me, but he DID have some positive qualities. First, he was a guitarist for a pretty successful band. The downside to this was the band broke up in January (lol) so lately he’s working at Giants games here and there to make money and he started his own band, meaning he’s barely staying afloat. Second, he was quite social – I liked how he struck up conversations with people around us and his sense of humor was good as well. We seemed to be hitting it off pretty well and made our way to another bar nearby. We continued to drink and drink, talk and talk. Throughout the night, he kept touching me in little flirty ways, and it seemed there was some chemistry there.

As the date ended, we hugged goodbye and I could feel that he was going to go in for a kiss. I let him. It was actually a very sweet and soft kiss and I enjoyed it a lot. As I was leaving, I can’t remember what exactly was said. I know that at several points throughout our date, however, we discussed hanging out again, introducing each other to friends, etc.

The next day I heard nothing from him. On day two, I figured I might as well send him a “thank you” text, just out of politeness. Looking back I see it for what it was: a way to open the lines of communication between us. In the future I will not do this; it is just as easy/hard for a guy to text me as it is for me to text them. The man I want WILL text me, maybe even the same night after our date ends, to thank me and tell me how much he liked me. This guy was different though, and he did eventually get back to me. Since then, we’ve gone back and forth (very little) about how we’re doing and meeting up again. Last I heard, he was going to “maybe” be available toward the end of last week. I told him just hit me up, give me some notice so I don’t make other plans, and I’d be down to hang out. Did I ever hear from him? Nope. Goodbye, guitarist boy!

This experience (and the ones thereafter which I shall share in time) has really confused me. Are guys just totally full of shit? Do they really like me? Are they just saying it to appease me on the date? Why hang out with me for hours? Why kiss me at the end of the night? Does my intelligence/beauty/maturity intimidate them? If so, they’re not the ones for me. I need a man who embraces all that I am and goes after what he wants, which should be me! So far, nobody fits the bill.