Date # 5 – Smoke Shop Guy

Hahahaha….. Ok, brace yourself for this one. Here we go….. This guy and I started talking and hit it off right off the bat – we seemed to have a lot in common (for instance, his ex was the same age as mine, they broke up around the same time and for similar reasons that I broke up with mine, he was moving to an apartment very close to mine from the same area I was moving from, etc.). It was pretty crazy finding all the parallels at first. He owns a smoke shop, which I saw as a plus in a lot of ways (he has enough money to support himself, his schedule is flexible). He sent me a picture (just 1), and I couldn’t completely tell what I thought of him. However, the fact that our conversations were going so well and all the things we had in common made me feel compelled to meet him.

We met in the parking lot of this really cute Mexican place (hey, at least he introduced me to a good new restaurant!). When we sat down for dinner, the conversation kept reverting back to our exes. He had told me how he kicked his ex out of his house, he had been supporting her, and he was planning to move to an apartment nearby my new apartment. In fact, he told me he had had the apartment on reserve for months, and was essentially paying double rent to keep it off the market. I continually asked him if we could talk about other things besides our exes. I’d be onto a whole different subject, and he’d INTERRUPT me to say “did you just say ____?” and I’d respond “yes, but that was 5 minutes ago, now we’re onto something else….” I got the impression he was not really listening to me, he’d just grab onto certain thing I’d said and obsess over them til he finally had to interrupt me to ask me about it. It was extremely annoying and frustrating and I almost felt like we were bickering on our first date! Not to mention the fact that I did NOT find him attractive, mostly because his ears stuck out immensely (literally, glancing at him that’s the first and only thing you notice, big ass ears sticking out…. if he had a personality to make up for it that’d be one thing, but this guy really was losing points fast).

The straw that broke the camel’s back, however, came when he told me he paid for his girlfriend’s move. Not only that, he paid several months of her rent in advance. This left me wondering: if you are really over this girl, why continue to support her? Maybe she dumped him and is continuing to play him, not the other way around. That would make more sense right? Regardless, I was not interested in someone still involved with their ex, let alone SUPPORTING them financially. No thank you. Goodbye, smoke shop boy!

A few days later, I went in to sign the lease for my new FABULOUS apartment (yay!). I casually mentioned to the girl in the leasing office how I met the guy that owned the smoke shop across the street. She knew immediately who I was talking about, and told me that he’d come to tour the apartments. I said I knew he’d had an apartment on reserve for months. She told me that was not true – he never had an apartment on reserve at all! He just came and toured the place once! The apartment was vacant and available. This begs the question, what else was he lying about? Wtf is wrong with these guys?

He proceeded to keep trying to call me, and eventually I dropped the bomb and said I don’t feel a connection with him. Luckily, he left me alone after that, never heard from him again. Thank god.

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