Date number 3 took place a bar I’d never been to before, with a guy who looked phenomenally hot in his pictures. Understandably, I was pretty nervous as I made my way in to meet him. However, once I laid eyes on him in person, I realized he was not all the pictures made him out to be. He was shorter than expected, less cute than expected, and wearing rocker-esque all black and converse (i.e. he did not put ANY effort into dressing up for me, which I decided to let go and embrace as his “style”). He had already started drinking by the time I arrived. I followed suit and ordered a drink right when I got there, and we dove into conversation about our lives, work, exes, etc. (I’ve since learned to avoid talking about exes on first dates).
As the night progressed, we got more and more tipsy. His loud, obnoxious laugh was annoying to me, but he DID have some positive qualities. First, he was a guitarist for a pretty successful band. The downside to this was the band broke up in January (lol) so lately he’s working at Giants games here and there to make money and he started his own band, meaning he’s barely staying afloat. Second, he was quite social – I liked how he struck up conversations with people around us and his sense of humor was good as well. We seemed to be hitting it off pretty well and made our way to another bar nearby. We continued to drink and drink, talk and talk. Throughout the night, he kept touching me in little flirty ways, and it seemed there was some chemistry there.
As the date ended, we hugged goodbye and I could feel that he was going to go in for a kiss. I let him. It was actually a very sweet and soft kiss and I enjoyed it a lot. As I was leaving, I can’t remember what exactly was said. I know that at several points throughout our date, however, we discussed hanging out again, introducing each other to friends, etc.
The next day I heard nothing from him. On day two, I figured I might as well send him a “thank you” text, just out of politeness. Looking back I see it for what it was: a way to open the lines of communication between us. In the future I will not do this; it is just as easy/hard for a guy to text me as it is for me to text them. The man I want WILL text me, maybe even the same night after our date ends, to thank me and tell me how much he liked me. This guy was different though, and he did eventually get back to me. Since then, we’ve gone back and forth (very little) about how we’re doing and meeting up again. Last I heard, he was going to “maybe” be available toward the end of last week. I told him just hit me up, give me some notice so I don’t make other plans, and I’d be down to hang out. Did I ever hear from him? Nope. Goodbye, guitarist boy!
This experience (and the ones thereafter which I shall share in time) has really confused me. Are guys just totally full of shit? Do they really like me? Are they just saying it to appease me on the date? Why hang out with me for hours? Why kiss me at the end of the night? Does my intelligence/beauty/maturity intimidate them? If so, they’re not the ones for me. I need a man who embraces all that I am and goes after what he wants, which should be me! So far, nobody fits the bill.